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I Have Had it With All the Snakes on This Plane
The jury's still out on Snakes on a Plane, it seems, in that nobody's entirely sure yet whether the filmmakers are aware precisely how stupid their film is.
If they are aware—if when filming the movie, they couldn't stop saying things like "Holy ***, is this ridiculous"—it's entirely possible Snakes on a Plane will achieve a level of retarded awesomeness not seen since Peter Jackson's Dead Alive. If they aren't aware, conversely, this could very well be the most punishingly stupid two hours you've spent since Jon Voight reminded you why nobody casts him in films much in the thin ***-treacle Anaconda.
I leave it to you to watch the trailer below and judge for yourself. The dialogue's scarce and offers few clues, as the trailer is more focused on demonstrating to you, the casual viewer, that you can apparently fit a shitload of snakes onto a plane. In this they succeed.
Of the few lines of dialogue present, I think my favorite is Samuel L. frustratedly stating, "I am getting sick of all the snakes on this plane!" or something similar. Hey, who wouldn't be? I speak from experience as to how aggravating that can be, especially if you're trying to get some things done.
I also feel the need to point out the 10-foot boa constrictor, which at one point drops out of a light fixture onto unsuspecting flight enthusiasts. I won't comment on the fright value of the spectacle, since I freely admit something like that would make me poop my pants.
However, the logistics involved in a 10-foot boa constrictor getting into a light fixture somewhat confounds. Logically speaking, there should have been a 10-foot florescent light already occupying this space.
The only reasonable conclusion I'm left with is that one of the maintenance personnel at the airport installed the boa constrictor into the fixture, thinking it was a florescent light. Regardless of how good or bad the movie ends up being, I sincerely hope they include this scene.
<------- HATER OF THE YEAR